Not sure what to say

So let's say you've done something wrong. (Of course, you and I are perfect, so this is strictly academic.) And let's say you've just recognized what you've done and are living in that moment between realization and resolution. You're not sure what to say or do to make things better... if that's even possible.

Does the Bible talk of this state of being? It's one we rarely talk about except quietly to ourselves. Many people I know (including me) are exceptionally talented at playing such scenes over and over in our heads, but to what advantage? If I'm able to come to a healthier conclusion about how to categorize my actions or react to them, it would seem this is a wonderful exercise, but so often that's not the case.

What do you do when you find yourself in this place? I suppose it depends on the circumstances, but maybe a little public discussion about this is in order. When this happens to me (all too often, it seems) lately I've been trying to find a balance - that delicate balance - trying not to feel awful and unforgivable without letting myself off "the hook" too easily. It's tough, but I have to wonder aloud if it's not a fairly universal experience. It seems easier for me to forgive others than to forgive myself. Even though sometimes I'm as hard on other people as I am myself, I'm able to let go of my judgement of others more easily.

Maybe it comes down to this: How easily should we forgive ourselves?

Let's Learn Together: Grand Mosque Seizure

I work with a wonderful Pakistani man and we both enjoy having regular spirited discussions about religion, politics, and world events. Being very ignorant about Islam, I take every opportunity to encourage him to elaborate on the subject when it comes up in conversation. Today, he began educating me on the Grand Mosque Seizure of 1979. It was quite the turning point in the history of Islam and I'm going to learn as much as I can.

Do you know anything about this event? Can you recommend any good books or anecdotes on the subject? I'll share what I learn along the way so we can all learn together.

Defending God (Please, Just Shut Up)

I had one discussion with my parents when I was a teen about the existence of God. It went something like this:

Me: I'm not sure... I mean... I don't know if... Sometimes I think God doesn't exist.

Father: YOU'RE WRONG! YOU'RE JUST WRONG! (repeat as needed)

Mother: (silence)

Let's just say it wasn't very helpful in my struggle with belief or the existence of God. Now comes Rep Monique Davis of Illinois. It seems that she and my Dad may have graduated from the same school of theological debate.

http://www.boingboing.net/2008/04/08/ill-rep-monique-davi.html

JWSTSOOY #006: Yearning for Zion Ranch (Polygamists)

WTF is up with Texas and weird, explosive/abusive religious cults? I mean, I live here and it's really puzzling me. I don't know. Here's the latest as of yesterday:

Authorities make another arrest in search of Texas polygamist compound

Race and Religion in America

So why is it that the last bastion of open separation between races and ethnicities is within our churches, synagogues, and temples? Is it because we feel compelled to separate by ethnicity for worship? Is the nature of worship itself inherently racist? Do we feel so battered by (un)spoken ethnic division in public that we need the shelter of segregated worship in order to recover? Or is it something else?

I think there must be something deep within us, either installed during our childhood or inherited, that makes us suspicious of things that are different. If you're not familiar with someone else's religion, skin color, or culture, it's easier to be wary of it. Prejudice (i.e. natural prejudgement to stimulus) is not necessarily a bad thing - it can be a helpful survival technique. How we react to it and what lessons we take away from that immediate judgement of the unfamiliar can be very problematic. When we use merely symbolic differences between people as justifications for paranoia (see my last post), that is a serious problem.

To think that the US is free of negative stereotypes and prejudices is ignorance. So what do we do about it? I've been trying to actively examine my reactions and prejudices and come to new conclusions. Only God knows if I'm making things better or just different. I know that staying complacent isn't a healthy option, so I'll keep going and let you know how it goes.

What are you doing and what do you think?

Michelle Obama's Thesis

There is a new viral e-mail floating around. It's not a virus hoax trying to convince you your keyboard will soon explode... although it's formatted almost that badly. This letter, which was just forwarded to me by a family member, is full of misquotes, pejorative speculation about Mrs Obama, and unverifiable accusations about her opinions and those of people around her. In other words, it's crap. After a quick search, I've just started to read her 1985 college thesis and I'll admit it's complex and as difficult to read at times as many other college thesis papers I've seen. It is not, however, what this awful, misleading e-mail makes it out to be. Unfortunately, the e-mail has the potential to rouse the irrational, race-paranoid side of American consciousness and that concerns me.

In it, she deals head-on with some of the heavy, heady issues associated with race and how Black people who integrate into larger (White) culture might run the risk of losing touch with Black culture. Lets face it, this is very dangerous territory. Taking lines of it out of context and slapping inflammatory accusations around them to rouse people's race fears is ludicrous and horrifyingly effective in getting many White people scared of her intentions. It would be sad if our knee-jerk reaction to this 22-year old paper causes a permanent shift in the nature of our political debate. Unfortunately, it wouldn't be a surprise if it did.

If you're curious about the document, feel free to read it (linked above) or check out the Snopes.com review of Michelle Obama's Thesis. I'm sure it will be coming to a radio, TV, or inbox of your's very soon.